9 Ways to Help Your Customer Talk More

Many of us make a living from selling mortgages and life assurance and have to ask some really tough question to help our customers realise what it’s like not to be fully covered. To help us we’re taught sequences of questions which give us structure and body. But that’s where they end.

Many questions look good on paper but ask a human being who is bristling with emotions, and you just might end up getting a cold shoulder.

Asking questions with the right words is one thing, it’s asking questions in the right way and really listening that encourages your customer to talk freely about something that’s very personal to them. Talking about dying is not something most people are happy to do.

I’m going to share nine tips to make your questions come to life and really bring you and your customer great results.

Smile And Expressions

As a man I’m fascinated to watch two women having a conversation. It’s mesmerizing. They are both locked onto each others faces and the woman doing the listening is reliving the conversation with her facial expressions and mirroring exactly what’s being said. She’s smiling and frowning, moving her eye brows, showing dismay, looking surprised…all in tandem with the conversation.

Talk about fantastic listening skills.

Unfortunately not many men do this; many of us struggle to even give eye contact.
The trick here is to emulate them and re-live the conversation through your facial expressions. Practise in front of a mirror using your facial vocabulary and just give it a go.

Head tilt

When something particularly sensitive is being discussed by your customer and you want to show particular empathy, try just tilting your head to one side. Do this and the person talking will just carry on talking, it’s so powerful.

The reason is that this is a non-threatening gesture of encouragement to the talker.

Eye contact

This has to be the most important non verbal gesture ever invented. Without eye contact there can be no conversation of real meaning.

Try not to stare at one place on their face for too long as this can be very aggressive. Men can be prone to this one. Instead aim to use the triangle gaze which allows you to give soft eye contact which encourages talking. Slowly gaze from one eye to the next, then down to the mouth and back up to the eye, in a slow rhythmic gaze. Try it, it really works.

Look up

You may have come across the science of eye movements from Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP. Enormous research has gone into this over the years and has proven that your eyes move according to how you are thinking, not what you are thinking.

Broadly, if your eyes move in an upwards direction, then you are thinking in pictures, across from side to side means you are thinking in sounds and down to your right, means you are thinking of feelings and emotions.

This theory can be used in a practical way to help your listening by occasionally looking upwards when they’ve said something really important. Considering over 65% of Western people are mostly visual in their thoughts means we’ve grown used to this gesture to mean a thinking one.

Animators have cottoned onto this and my favourite, The Simpsons, shows the characters moving their eyes in line with their thinking. Homer is particularly good at it. Other animators also use the same idea.

So next time you’re listening to your customer and they say something profound, look upwards for a moment or two and you’ll be saying to them “I’m finding what you’re saying really interesting – look at me I’m listening and thinking about what you just said”

Cool eh?

Body Language

There are a number of known gestures that indicate that you’re listening in addition to what we’ve already spoken about.


“Let me Consider”	Critical Evaluation

Needs time to conclude	“Well I don't know”

“The Thinker”

Verbal nods

Very useful to encourage more of a conversation, these are very simple.

“Yes, I see, go on, really, uh hur….”

Bet you already use these.

Reflective statements

Designed to reflect back the emotion of a conversation to show empathy and listening.

“I understand”
“That must have been terrible”
“Gosh you were brave”
“Wow, that must have been exhausting”

Soft Front Ends

Sometimes just by putting a few words at the beginning of a question can really soften its impact and make it far more palatable. Words such as:

“May I ask….”
“I’d be curious to know….”
“I’d be very interested to know…”
“Tell me…”

Or any other words that suit your style.

Tone

This little tip I share with many salespeople particularly those that use the phone a lot. Your voice is a wonderful tool and used properly, can be inspiring and exciting. Used badly, it can destroy your will to live. Some people, unfortunately, have monotone voices, particularly men.

This can drive you wild especially when you remain monotone when asking questions. The worse scenario is when questions are asked with a monotone voice which actually drops at the end of the question.

Yuk.

It comes across as a command and is full of aggression.

A monotone question is dreary and dull and lacks any interest.

However a full range voice can deliver a wonderful interesting question especially if you manage to lift your voice a tiny bit at the end of the question.

Have a listen to other people’s questions and voices and get a rhythm together for yourself.

So there we have nine tips that’ll really ignite your ability to ask tricky and personal questions with a client that’ll help you show that they need protection.

Paul is an international sales speaker, sales trainer, author and coach based in the UK.

He specialises in rapport selling and rapport coaching and can ignite his audiences large or small.

Sign up to my weekly eZine of sales and coaching tips and get a free report on getting the best out of 2009 plus a free hypnotic relaxation MP3 to download. www.archertraining.co.uk

01452 730276

paul@paularcher.com

Blog – www.paularcher.com

Free Weekly Sales and Coaching Tips

Sign up now for your free Weekly Sales and Coaching Tips. These are shorter and more entertaining tips and ideas around selling and coaching sales people.

"Just while I have a moment I thought I’d drop you a line to thank you for your interesting Sales and Coaching Tips through the year. I have enjoyed reading them and even put one or two into practice. I’m impressed by your ability to produce something fresh and interesting every week!"

And if you sign up today you'll get two free gifts.

eBook - Expect More from 2009 - countless tips and ideas to make the most from 2008. It’s a collection of articles from experts around the globe, including me!
Plus a very special 30 minute MP3 "Breath Away Stress" from acclaimed hypnotist Steve Norton. Ideal for the pressured salesperson or coach.

Once you sign up you'll be directed to where you can download your free gifts

"Hi Paul, I don't know if you receive any feedback or not but I find your weekly coaching tips very helpful. They are simple yet effective. Short yet informative. Plain yet realistic. They are indeed practical tips that one could apply immediately. I certainly look forward to those weekly tips. Thanks and keep up the good work."

We value your privacy and make it really easy to unsubscribe at any time